Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
