so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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