So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
