You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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