Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
