she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
