Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
