I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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