I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
We are all done wearing pants today
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
