no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
