i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
