He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Someone signed my nipple.
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