just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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