please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
you inspire me to be a worse person
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
