I just made out with a guy for $7.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
