Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
