was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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