Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
