The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
We're too hungover to prance.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
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