you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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