Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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