We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
