Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Randomize
