His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
