i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
