Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize