Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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