I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Randomize