It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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