yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Randomize
