gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
