You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Every concussion has its silver lining
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
