Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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