Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
it's like heaven, but drunker
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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