Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize