so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
PANTIES FOUND
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