i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
