I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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