If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
