is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Randomize
