I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize