i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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