He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
And then my night got REAL pukey
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
