i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
