i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I fill condoms, not promises.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
