We're like a lot better than the average bears
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
