you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
send nudes
from the living room?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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