I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
you would pick up someone in the library
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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