I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
