I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
