problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Drunk is not a location!
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
