Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
