i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
it was like eating out sand paper
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
i out mim tonsoeep
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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