Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
