and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
