I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Randomize
