Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
is that a dick in a sweater?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
