When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
