im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
