ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize