You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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