These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
