Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
